Something is Missing

There’s just something missing, it’s a sense of belonging. Sure our ward is great and friendly but that just it, there’re friendly “church members.” We haven’t been invited over for dinner or asked to hang out and enjoy an evening of games. Our ward is only a couple of steps up from a Branch so you would think that a new family would be flooded with love. I normally would be the first to invite people over but honesty our house isn’t organized and there isn’t much room. I have a calling to teach Gospel Principals but this Sunday was my first official day and no one showed up except the missionaries and my husband (thanks for your support sweets.) My last fast Sunday in Germany I prayed that I would get the feeling of “completion.” The entire PCS had been quick and hard. I don’t think I prepared enough and I had major YW President duties that kept me busy right up until our last week. My best friends were leaving at the same time we were and I knew Germany wouldn’t be the same without them.

Now the novelty of England is starting to wear off and reality of small living has been hammered in. If I could choose a new PCS season for the Miller Family it would definitely not be during the 2 most family orientated holidays of the year! When we first arrived in Germany (Nov 05) we were still newlyweds and very much into each other, I didn’t need friends I had a best friend/husband to share everything with. Now almost 5 years later I still have a husband /best friend but I also need a little girl time on the side. When I married Dave I left my best friends in Canada (Chantel and Kristy) and had gained Larkin in Delaware. I left Larkin and quickly added Lori and Jennifer in Germany. When they both moved away I found Suzy, Holly and Liz. Now I’m waiting to meet my “New Best Friend.” You might be thinking I just need to give it more time and I do, I know that but I still want one right now!

As our families get close to each other this holiday season its hard not to want to celebrate with them. Our plan was to spend Christmas with the Millers if we got stationed in the USA. Then a surprise invitation came from the Robison’s to join them for a Canadian Christmas but we couldn’t give an answer since Dave’s in-processing wasn’t over and he didn’t want to jeopardize anything. The salt in this wound is that a couple of days ago Dave came home and said a trip to Canada might be very doable, and we immediately began looking for the “deal” my mom had found a few weeks earlier. Unfortunately it was gone!

We have come to the agreement that moving when our contract is finished is what we have to do if we want to add another baby to our family. I’m ok with that. Do it Yourself Moves are hard but It will be worth it, when I have room to set up a baby swing and still play on the floor with Ava. As of right now I don’t care if we stay within our ward boundaries I feel no loyalty to them as of yet, but we’ll see in a year.

I know I am greatly loved and blessed by my Heavenly Father. I have so much to be thankful for and I really am thankful for my good life and neat experiences. People have dreamed about living my life and never get to but sometimes it’s the smaller things in life that can make you feel like something’s missing.