Were Expanding!

This is such exciting news and I have waited a long time to post it for a few reasons. We are expecting baby number 2 on November 2, 2011!

This past year has been crazy for us. Ava turned 2 in December 2009 and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to have another baby, so we waited. I felt a little pressure as the months passed and the age difference increased between our children, but by May 2010 we both felt ready to bring another baby into our family. Never had the thought crossed my mind that things wouldn’t go smoothly and that the first month would result in a negative pregnancy test. Ava was a sudden blessing that took us both by surprise (I thought things would be lickity split fast again.) Then month 2 came and went with no news and so on and so on. By September (5 months) I was really beginning to think something might be un-right with one or both of us. I hadn’t been on birth control since Ava was born so I didn’t think that was the problem; however no one medical would even talk to us about the issue until we had tried for 1 year. As each month passed my frustration intensified and I often thought “Why us? What’s wrong? Why will no one talk to us about it? Will Ava be my only child? Is this punishment? Have I not been a worthy mother? I should accept it and move forward, others have bigger problems. Why does it seem like everyone is pregnant but me?

Dave told me not to take anymore pregnancy tests because even though I thought I was prepared for a negative result, when it actually happened I always fell hard, often ending in denial and another test a couple of days later or a cry fest while alone in the shower. In December 2010 I had a false alarm and was at my lowest emotionally. I had charted my cycles religiously and noticed that they were becoming farther and farther apart (averaging 45 days) so in February I decided to buy 2 ovulation tests and take them back to back, just to be sure I wasn’t missing that tiny 2ish day moment when everything lines up perfectly and you have the greatest chance of conceiving. The tough part about taking 2 ovulation kits means peeing on a stick every single day and seeing negative over and over again. Suddenly one evening (close to midnight) I took my test and saw a positive result. You would have thought it was a positive pregnancy by the way I reacted! I called Dave at work and with excitement pouring out of my mouth told him that my body was ready, we needed to act fast. It all felt so good but I knew that if it didn’t work I would hit a new rock bottom and finally schedule a 1 year fertility appointment.

The next 3 weeks went by so slow. I was itching to take a test and it took all of my energy not to think about it. One night early in March I decided to just take one, but not tell Dave (incase it was still too early.) I did it and saw nothing. I put the stick on the counter and washed my hands, by the time I placed the towel on the hanger and looked back again before tossing it in the trash; I saw an extremely faint double pink line. I sat down and called for Dave. While looking at him I wondered how long it would take him to notice the test on the ledge. He never saw it so I grabbed it and said “what do you see, 1 or 2 lines?” He agreed that there was a faint double line but didn’t believe it was a positive result. I took a test every day for 4 days and the line kept getting darker and darker. It had been 11 months but we were pregnant!

It’s a little hard to know that you are pregnant so early on. You want to spread the news but are cautious about whom you tell. You want to start buying stuff and looking up names but don’t know if you’re going to miscarry. We told family but waited for those crucial 3 months to pass, and after they had I still didn’t feel great about spreading the word. I had felt pain and sorrow for 11 months and I knew of friends who had felt that same pain plus more for a lot longer than we had. It didn’t feel right to go blurting our news out over blogger or facebook just yet. Every week I would think “this is the week; I’m going to call them and let them know personally.” But it never felt right. Five months passed and although I was scared to hurt people I cared about I made the call. It did hurt; I should have done it differently. I cried after hanging up but I know they love us and are genuinely happy. When you’re in the military amazing friendships are hard to make and I never want to jeopardize a great friendship.

It's a Baby Boy

In June we had our 22 week ultrasound. It went normal (as normal as a non-verbal ultrasound can.) They won’t and can’t tell you anything about the baby besides the sex. It was as clear as day that we are having a boy! I was in a bit of shock but Dave said he knew as soon as he saw the face. We were on cloud 9 until 48 hours later when I got a call from the doctor. My doctor happens to be a member of the church and also my home teacher so when he starts the conversation with “I’m calling on official doctor business” I started to freak out. He said that my placenta was completely covering my cervix and that I was now on complete “pelvic rest.” I was a high risk patient and that if any bleeding occurred I was to rush to the hospital. The baby had short femur bones (which could mean Down Syndrome) and was measuring in the 9^th percentile for growth. My innocence was completely stripped. We had always said we would never terminate a pregnancy and accept and love what God gave us, but when it’s in your face I’m ashamed to say, I had negative thoughts. Could we do this? Was I strong enough? Did I have the patience to endure for a life time?

I received a beautiful priesthood blessing of comfort from Dave, promising that I could enjoy this pregnancy and that whatever the outcome, it would be right for our family. I would love this baby boy and teach my young beehives at church that motherhood is a blessing and a privilege. Two weeks went by until we got our first glimpse of hope. We were referred to Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge for a second opinion ultrasound. The doctor explained to us that growth charts are different between the UK and America, and that our baby was on the smaller side of normal, but still within the normal UK range. NORMAL was the best word I could have heard. Yeah he had femur bones that were shorter but still normal, although the placenta was still in complete previa and with little chance of fully pulling upward for a vaginal delivery. I tried to prepare myself for a tricky c section in Cambridge ending with the baby having a hopefully short stay in the NICU. It wasn’t until yesterday August 1, 2011 that I had this terrible weight lifted from my shoulders. We had the second Addenbrookes ultrasound and baby boy is clearly growing well and normal and that miraculously the placenta has moved an incredible distance in the past 3 weeks and has momentum to keep going. Vaginal delivery is possible!

I give thanks to my Heavenly Father for hearing the prayers of Dave and I as well as our extended families. Jesus Christ is truly my Savoir and friend; he has felt my pain and my worry and has taken it on himself. I rejoice at the thought of being a mother of 2 and can’t wait to hold our precious baby boy in my arms.

21 weeks Pregnant

23 weeks pregnant

26 weeks pregnant